Thursday, November 1, 2007

Even thou it's not from Freddy, it's my favorite Green lines...

Duff: We should make up some fake names.

John: Why?

Duff: In case we have to communicate while we're inside.

John: OK.

Duff: I wanna be Kyle. I knew this guy at camp. He was 13 and he got two girls pregnant man. TWO girls pregnant. Yea, I'm Kyle. Who you gonna be?

John: Steve...

Duff: Wait.

John: What?

Duff: I wanna change. I wanna be Steve.

John: I'm Steve. You're Karl.

Duff: Kyle!

Monday, July 30, 2007

Betty goes commando!

Betty wore her hot red dress to the premiere of Freddy back in 2001. It must've been a cold April evening, cuz schawing! Popping fresh as we used to say.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Spotlight on: Harland Williams, a.k.a. Darren

Who are you, Harland Williams? Turns out, Freddy's buddy is the real animator. Perhaps that's what sold him on the script. His first 'Lickety Split' children's book was published back in 1983. Harland is a trained animator and is currently working on a few animation projects based on his hand-drawn characters. No word yet whether he and Green will be collaborating. I'd certainly love to see these two work together again. Proportedly, Tom Green personally answers email queries sent to his website. I await his reply.

THE best review of the film

written by Steven Carlson on Sunday, February 18, 2007, for the Contrarian Blogathon

Freddy Got Fingered, or: Daddy, Would You Like Some Dada?

In 1917, Marcel Duchamp signed a urinal and called it art. In 2001, Tom Green waggled a horse's penis and called it a movie. The line of separation between the two actions is a lot thinner than would seem apparent.

Here's the thing: If Dada was, as its proponents claimed, deliberately anti-art in that it opposed everything for which the art of the day stood, then Green's Freddy Got Fingered, as terrifically weird and terrifically funny as anything released this decade, is Dada to its very bones. It inhabits the skin of a popular genre -- the Hollywood teen-oriented comedy -- much like Green's character Gord climbs into the carcass of a skinned deer during the course of the film, and like Gord, it wears this skin only to flout its distaste for convention. It is, in short, an anti-film and should be respected as such. (click HERE to read the full review)

Topping world news tonight...

Topping world news tonight, the creator of a popular TV show...has been captured by villagers in Pakistan. The American State Department has confirmed that Gordon Brody...creator of the animated series Zebras in America...creator of the series Zebras in America...were taken hostage while vacationing in the Thar Desert...while vacationing in the Thar Desert, along the Pakistani-Indian border. At this hour, their conditions are unknown.

The Thar Desert is an inhospitable place. It is host to rampant nuclear testing, warring factions, and little potable water. The desert is vast and mostly uninhabitable, making it the ideal location for criminal activity. The Arbabs, who are known as the 'uncrowned kings' of the Thar Desert, are notorious for their gross violations of human rights. Arbabs have been known to kill people by cutting their stomachs open and dragging them across the hot desert sand until they stop screaming. The region is also known to have several 'opium trails'. Drug runners make the trek across the desert to the ports of Naya Chor and Bombay, where their goods are sold and shipped. More recently, it has become a breeding ground for the Al Queada network. It is one of the few places in the world where survival of fittest, and not the rule of law, still applies. Any peeps willing to walk into this desert had better be willing to kill to survive. There's no 911 out there.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Who's your favorite?

Where's your LeBaron, Freddy?

Gord: Now my bus is leaving for Los Angeles, so I'm going to leave...on it.
Daddy: Son, wait.
Gord: What?
Daddy: You're not taking that bus to Los Angeles.
Gord: But you bought me a ticket for this bus to Los Angeles.
Mom: That's not all we bought you. [Daddy jingles a set of keys and points to a car]
Daddy: There, it's yours. Hop in! You're drivin'!
Gord:'s's a LeBaron!
Daddy: Bet your boots it's a LeBaron. Good car. Convertible.
Gord: Jeez, a convertible. It says #1 SON on the license plate. That's me! I'm the #1 son!
Freddy: What about me Mom?
Mom: You're #1 son too.
Freddy: Then how come Gord gets a LeBaron and I don't?
Gord: [shaking the keys] Because they love me more than they love you.
Freddy: No! No they don't!
Gord: Oh yeah? Well, I don't see your LeBaron. Where's your LeBaron, Freddy? I only see one. Are there...are there two LeBarons? I don't see two LeBarons.
Freddy: Knock it off.
Gord: Where's your LeBaron, Freddy? Where's your LeBaron, Freddy? I only see one LeBaron, Freddy. Do you see two LeBarons? I don't see two LeBarons. Are there two LeBarons?
Freddy: Shut up!
Daddy: Gord, this car is more than a gift.It's...kind of an investment in you. It means I believe in my son. [Gord gets in the LeBaron] You be a good man.
Gord: Father, I... I will be a good man.
Daddy: You make your daddy proud. You hear me?
Gord: I'm gonna make you proud, Daddy. I'm gonna make you so proud.
Daddy: Make your daddy proud.
Gord: You're gonna be so proud...Proud
Daddy: Proud.
Gord: Get the fuck out of the way!

The website where I found this photo was dedicated entirely to Celicas (bottom right) found in films. It was wicked random (this pic for instance) and astonishing that they could even pick them out of the crowd. The Celica has appeared in everything from Robocop to Freddy. Now that's versatility.

One MILLION dollars!!!!

Product placement: the foreman drives an F350

Foreman: You see, Mr. Brody, this part here is the trickiest part. It'll take 30 men. It'd be a lot cheaper if you just tear the whole thing down and build...

Gord: Money's no object. Because I had a million dollars, ok? And then I spent $150,000 on the jewels. I spent another $100,000 on the helicopter, ok? Then add this $750,000. [Foreman smiles as he hands him the check] That's all my money. That's all my money gone. One million dollars gone.

Foreman: [laughs awkwardly with Gord] Yeah.

Gord: Easy come, easy go.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Betty's a babe!

Marisa graced the cover of Stuff in 2001. In 2002, she ranked #34 in Stuff magazine's "102 Sexiest Women in the World" (the top 33 are still at USC no doubt). In her interview with them, she says, “I was so aggressive in the audition for Freddy Got Fingered that I was ripping Tom’s clothes off. I went further than any of the other girls who tried out.” Ah, the Trojan ladies...

Best Betty Quotes
Gord: They're jewels, Betty. They're jewels. I got them all for you.
Betty: But Gord, I don't care about the jewels. I just wanna suck your cock.
Gord: Do ya? Do you really mean that Betty?
Betty: Yes Gord. Even if you were poor, I'd still just wanna stay at home...and suck your cock.
Daddy: Wait a minute... You're crippled.
Betty: What?
Gord: Come on dad...
Betty: You got a problem with my legs?
Daddy: No, you got a problem with your legs. It's either that, or you're just lazy.
Daddy: You want me to give you a spanking in front of this retard slut whore?
Betty: I'M NOT RETARDED! [Note that she doesn't refute the 'slut whore' part of the comment]
[Gord and Betty flirt. Betty laughs while flipping creamers]
Gord: Are hospitals always this much fun?
Betty: [sombers, stops laughing] No, sometimes people die from cancer here.

I wanna eat a chicken sandwich!

Julie Brody: Gordie, sit down. We're having roast beef.
Gord: Why do you guys always have roast beef?
Daddy: Boo-hoo. Little Lord Fauntleroy's tummy hurts because there's too much roast beef in it.
Gord: This is boring. [Opens bag, pulls out a chicken sandwich] I wanna eat a chicken sandwich.
Daddy: No, you're not!
Gord: This is crazy. I'm a 28-year-old man, I should be able to eat a chicken sandwich if I want.
Daddy: He's 28 years old and he can eat a chicken sandwich. Very Impressive. Mike Fitzgibbon's son is a nuclear physicist, and my son can eat a chicken! [Grabs chicken sandwich, throws it to the dogs]
Julie Brody: Jim, no!
Daddy: [ignoring his wife's plea] Now you can either eat that goddamn roast beef, or you can go to bed. [Gord goes to bed] Good.